periwinkle crush

Libur Lebaran telah selesai teman2… besok kita bekerja lagi…
Seminggu koq rasanya kyk sehari ya? cepet banget lewatnya.

Jangankan seminggu, setahun aja ga berasa yah….
kemaren gw baru menemukan foto jadul taon 1997.
Jamannya baru masuk kuliah, mukanya masih pada cupu, kurus, dan tanpa kerut…hahaha.
Rasanya seperti taon lalu, padahal udah 10 taon lebih!!!… najes gw tuir banget!

Mengenai ke”tuir”an ini…udah mulai dirasakan efeknya saat beberapa hari yg lalu gw memutuskan untuk “lari pagi”. Mumpung libur kaaan? ceritanya mau dimaksimalkan buat olah raga nih.
Larinya sih oke…. 1/2 jam jogging disela jalan santai keliling kompleks Vila Permata Gading.
Besoknya donk jenk….. badan rasanya kyk abis digebukin pake palu daging.
(tau ga? palu besi yg ujungnya lancip2 muat gebukin daging rendang!)
Alhasil cuma sekali aja deh, besoknya ngga lagi…. hahahahaha.
Besok2 gw rencananya mau ikutan Yoga aja deh…. hopefuly this one works…
I need to work out badly……haha.

Oh well…. guess I’m just missing the good old days.
Waktu nemu foto2 lama langsung kesenengan bernostalgila dan sibuk masukin ke facebook donk “Lost and Found”
nah, ini juga salah satu tanda2 penuaan nih… sebentar lg gw nyalain radio nyari hits lagu2 lama…..hahahaha…. secara lg ga bisa bobo.

Menyinggung soal “being old”…
(btw, kenapa bahasannya jadi kesini ya? padahal tadinya mau bahas tentang liburan???)
Despite of the fact that I do get older, and quite aware of that.
I feel like…. i’m not being as old as i should be (confused?… so am i….)
I mean…. I don’t think, or feel, or act, or dress up my age.
I’m stuck in the early 20’s.
And keep searching for alike friends, which may not be too many these days.
Everybody moves on…… and that scare the shit out of me.

I don’t want to move on………… (i think that’s the core problem)
i still wanna be 21…… on the inside as well as the outside. freaky huh?

yeah… all pretty girls have their freaky side….. hahahahahaa.

Anyway, mengenai liburan… sebenernya gw cuma mau bilang.

Hari ini gw cape banget…. abis jalan2 keliling bunderan HI sampe ke Kelapa Gading!
That’s how i spent my last day on Holiday. Sehari jadi foto model di Bunderan HI. (Persiapan buat Prewed lah, capenya mungkin kira2 kyk begini)
Jadi ceritanya abis pulang gereja di Hotel Nikko, gw dan rombongan “banci foto” menyebrang ke Grand Indonesia untuk mencari film yg kira2 bisa ditonton hari ini.
Waktu di jembatan penyebrangan yg sepi pengunjung  dan ada angin semilir2, langsung timbul instinc pengen foto2 deeeeh… lalu lanjut di tangga penyebrangan…. lalu lanjut di depan air mancur Plaza Indonesia… lalu lanjut di depan Patung Entrance… lalu di di zebra cross… di depan Seibu, di lift, di escalator, di depan pintu Toilet dan di setiap spot yg ada…!!
(sebenernya lebih mirip rombongan turis dari kampung daripada fotomodel… hehehe)
Acara nonton-nya? lupakan saja lah… ga ada film bagus.
Setelah cape di GI… pulangnya masih lanjut ke Mall Kelapa Gading lagi.
Kalo boleh protes… jempol gw pasti udah demo di bunderah HI dari tadi.
But guess what… I have the best day of the week today.

Karna ternyata bukan cuma gw doank yg ga inget umur!!! hahahaha…..(seneng banget)

as i’m soothing my legs… (yg lg be-konde)
I wanna say… good nite to everyone.
and have a greaaaaat monday tomorrow!!

Some days ago, I met my “ghost from the past”….

I’ve been avoiding that moment for years, yet always imagining about a meeting with him, in a situation i made to please myself. Mostly I would imagine myself walking with some beautiful smart gorgeous bla..bla…guy, when i accidently bump into him in some mall or anything. And acted like… soooo happy, and cheerful and no sign of a heart ever broken. (a stupid cliche!)

That of course never happend….

What happend is, I spotted his wife in a public place, and knew that he is there somewhere…
It’s like………… i stop breathing for a few minutes, watch out… flood is comiiiing!!!

I knew I’m about to see him very soon, I knew I’m not ready, I knew I’m not looking pretty enough, I knew I’m not with a beautiful smart gorgeous bla..bla.. guy, and I KNEW…. I’m not a happy person right now!
And I can’t run away from this anyway…… so I just hold my breath… and he say “Hi……….Ra”

I turn around, and there he is…… a pretty ghost with great smile, and a wife…… and a baby……….
what a day……! i should just kill myself this morning.

hehehe…. just being hiperbolic.
We did have a very normal conversation, I don’t choke or running out of breath (well.. almost :D)
I even play with his baby……. (never on earth did i imagine this will happend), then we parted….
and the flood rushing out of my chest right away …………………………………………………phewwwww.

“That is The Guy?” my friend asked. “Yup”
“What’s so great about him…..”biasa aja”……?”
“I know……”

Sometimes you can get  too obsessed with someone, that you can’t even tell anymore what’s so great  about him in the first place.
And then you start comparing the other guys with him…and no one could ever be good enough.

I asked myself sometimes……. “Girl, what do you really wants?”

I kept thinking of being with B, when I’m with A. And when I’m not with him anymore…….I’m thinking of being with A, when I’m starting to get close with C.
Am I screwed or what?

I think it have something to do with my “ghost from the past”, but…… I don’t really know how to fix it.

Maybe I need to meet “Ghost from the future” first.
A very gorgeous one please…….